Bullies are becoming more and more frequent with the use of technology. People are able to hide behind a computer screen and say things that they don't normally have the confidence to say in person. They can post things anonymously to avoid direct confrontation or they can say someone was posing as them if they get caught to avoid getting in trouble with their parents or at school. Cyberbullying is the cowardly way to bully, but its just as painful if not more so then schoolyard bullies of past generations.
Cyberbullies can be found intimidating others through text, voice or email messaging directly to their target. They can also spread lies and rumors about someone else by sending electronic communications to other people. With the use of social media being more prevalent in today's society then ever before, cyberbullies posting mean comments, posting inappropriate photographs, or impersonating others online.
SENT TO MY SISTER
Look I no bout all the stuff that happened n sorry for wat everyone was saying but do u wanna be friends? Just friends?
Well.....?
This is me **** yes wat wer u going 2 say?
SENT FROM MY SISTER
Sure but never though u'd say it
SENT TO MY SISTER
Well yea I don't like u that way but sure I would be your friend.
I tried to say that wen u gave me the letter but u never gave me a chance u always ran away so...
SENT FROM MY SISTER
Hey just tried 2 call u. Did I get the right number?
SENT TO MY SISTER
No.
SENT FROM MY SISTER
Well i just get really nervous around u that I can't even talk 2 u
SENT TO MY SISTER
I understand. And I'm sorry about wat people tol u I told them 2 stop but u no how that goes
SENT FROM MY SISTER
Well u kept on calling me stalker and it just gets so frustrating sometimes i just can't b the way i really am.
SENT TO MY SISTER
Ok well i have 2 go i have a date 2nite with **** so cu at skool tho ok?
SENT FROM MY SISTER
K! Call me when u get back and good luck on your date!
SENT TO MY SISTER
Ok thanx lol bye
SENT FROM MY SISTER
Cya
SENT TO MY SISTER
DON'T CALL ME OR TEXT ME EVER AGAIN! U THINK U CAN THREATEN MY GIRLFRIEND THEN UR WRONG I'M BLOCKING UR PHONE #!!!!!!!!!!
U better quit sending me friend requests on facebook got it!
Quit talk 2 ***** on facebook! She doesn't like u ur just a jelus lonely person
Y aren't u answer u STALKER! U better stop asking **** to be her friend cuz I love her ur just jelus!
Hahahahhaha!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
STALKER!
Awwww ur sad that I don't like u well 2 bad! **** told me everything u can't hid it u think all of my friend r your friend but there not so get sum of ur own friends and a boyfriend!! STALKER!
Hahah u like *** hahahaha hes emo that means he cuts himself hahahah u like an emo guy hahahaha stalker!
U GOT REJECTED!!!!
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Did u send me a friends request on facebook?
Hahahahahahahahhahahahahaahhaahhahahahaahhahahahah
After reading through all the above text messages, I listened to the voicemessages. Below is a transcript of the voicemessages that were left all from the same boy who had texted her:
VOICEMAIL 1
Wow you wouldn’t answer your phone. And you know what Why do you keep stalking me? You better quit annoying **** alright and threatening her cause seriously you don’t want to know what will happen if you do. So yeah”
VOICEMAIL 2
Wow nice voice mail why don’t you leave your name and your number? Yeah and why don’t you answer your phone f@$%^#
VOICEMAIL 3
[laughter] You got rejected by ****. Wow. This is funny. {inaudible mumbling} Did you think he'd actually say yes? Wow your stupid.
The boy tried to gain her trust by pretending to be her friend and then suddenly and without any warning to her, completely snapped. She even tried telling him why she didn't fully trust him but by the end of the initial conversation she's wishing him luck on his date. She has a sweet enough disposition to wish the boy she has a crush on good luck on a date with another girl and she meant that statement with her whole heart.
When I went to the school with the information, I was told that there wasn't really anything that they could do. Luckily, the Principal of the school was a teacher that I had when I was a student there. He did call the student done to the office and let him know that the behavior wouldn't be tolerated. I also called and spoke with the boy's mother. The problems with him did seem to die down and we haven't had any more serious problems with him since.
Then just last week, we had another issue. This time involving facebook. My sister had been grounded off the computer for the weekend. I happened to be online and tried to tag her in a video I had made but it wasn't letting me do so. At the same time, my best friend messaged me asking if my sister's facebook page had been hacked. When I checked it out, I found that her profile picture had been changed, language was changed to Korean, password was changed, a new email address was added to her account and her friend connection with me was no longer there. There were threats left on her wall from a boy in her class. Since the kid had taken over her profile, he also went in and "liked" one of the comments he posted on her wall as her. I took a screen shot of her wall before the posts were taken down which is pictured below: (name and photograph blacked out to protect the child's identity)
Once again, I called the parents. The parents had no idea what was going on. This time I was told that the kid in question was also being harassed by bullies so they didn't believe their child could be responsible for inflicting the same kind of pain on someone. Unfortunately, bullies tend to lash out after having experienced their own bully. Their bully may also be on the school playground and lunchrooms, while other times the bullies are right in their own homes. To make themselves feel better, they pick on someone who is perceived as being weaker then they are. In this scenario after I fixed her facebook account, I notified the school of the threats. I knew that once again it was outside of the realm of responsibility as far as the school was concerned, but I wasn't about to have something happen during school hours and have school officials say that there was no warning of the situation.
One thing that I think all bullies have in common, is low self esteem. As adults in these children's lives, if we can just teach our kids the value they have in themselves, I think it would go a long way to putting this bullying problem to rest once and for all. While the likelihood of every child in America having positive self esteem is probably slim to none, the most important thing that we can do is block communication from those trying to pose a threat. We need to remind our kids not to retaliate when they receive these types of communications. We also need to be aware of how to report abuse to the social networking service and email providers we use. Most importantly, we need to be involved in our kids lives. We can't stop something that we don't know is happening. Take a moment and look at the facebook walls of the teens in your life. You may find out something about them you didn't know before or you may stop a bad situation before it happens.
If you are concerned about what your kids may be exposed to online, I highly recommend downloading this free software. It allows you to block web content, restrict hours that internet is accessible on the computer, and allows you to set up passwords to sites you want to visit but you don't want the kids on. You can even view a log of sites that your kids were on while using the computer to monitor their usage. We use it on our computer
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