Mean Kids from My Day

To help the girls cope, I shared with them my own experience with the mean kids from my day. In elementary school, I dealt with teasing. As young as kindergarten, teasing effected me. When I was little, I didn't have folds in my ears. I was called "Dumbo" by most of my fellow kindergartners. My grandmother was upset by it I think more then I was. She paid for me to undergo Otoplasty, surgery to reconstruct my outer ears. As an adult, I can't move my ears like most people can. I regret having underwent the surgery, but it stopped the name calling. At least it stopped the name of "Dumbo." As years went on, there were other names thrown my way, but as long as I had my friends I didn't let names hurt me.

This is me a few years before my plastic surgery.

This was me after the surgery.

I had the same core group of friends from kindergarten through 7th grade. When I was in middle school, my parents divorced. We couldn't keep our house so my mom and I had to move in with my grandparents. Leaving my home meant that I had to start a new school. It wasn't bad. I quickly made friends with 4 girls that lived in the neighborhood. My best friend from my old school was still my best friend. Our other best friend from my old town moved in with her father and happened to follow me to the same new school shortly after I moved. Transitioning was easy.

Then after only being at my new school for a year, my mom moved in with her boyfriend and I had to switch schools again. Right before the transition between schools, I went on a church youth retreat. While I was on the trip, I broke my toe. I had to start my new school on crutches. This is when bullying became a problem for me.

On my first day of class, the teachers asked for volunteers to carry my books and help me get around. The kids that volunteered, were the kids that just wanted to get out of class early. When I was no longer on crutches, these kids now didn't want to have anything to do with me. The kids that might have made good friends for me thought that I was one of the mean kids and therefore didn't want to associate themselves with me either. I was alone. An outcast. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall to avoid the kids. It got so bad that I asked to move back to my old school. It took some time and some convincing, but I eventually got my wish. (While I attended this school, I got called down to the office one day while I was in band and took a call from my mom to tell me she was pregnant with my baby sister!)

That wasn't my last time switching schools, but it was the last of any real dealings with mean kids. I only spent a short time back with the friends I had made when I was living in my grandparents home. When I started high school, I moved in with my father and his 2nd wife and started another brand new school. I made good friends there too. (One of which passed away at the beginning of my Sophomore year. I named my son after this friend. Ironically enough during the time I knew him, I was on crutches for a bad knee injury I suffered my Freshman year. He carried my books for me from our Social Studies classroom to study hall everyday.) By the middle of my Sophomore year, I was back with my grandparents after I had a falling out with my father. My mom, step dad and infant sister needed to move back in with them because of my sister's outrageous medical bills. I lost touch with the friends that I had made while living with my father. My friends that I was now going back to for the 3rd time were still my friends, but being a ping pong between schools had left me not as socially well adjusted.

After moving around so much, I didn't feel like I completely fit in anywhere I went. The best friend I had was still the one that knew me before my plastic surgery. After I was no longer living with my father, I was depressed. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to go on another RIM (Retreat in Motion) trip with the church youth group. I ended up meeting my son's father on that trip. Being the socially abnormal person that I was at the time, I become pregnant shortly after. The beginning of my junior year of high school was spent being home schooled due to my pregnancy. My son was born in mid-January and four weeks after that I was returning to school. I didn't return to "normal" classes. The school and my physician were afraid of post-partum depression being an issue. They transitioned me back to school through special education classes. (Here, I met another person that would mean a great deal to me. I met a girl who had cystic fibrosis. I had never met anyone quite like her. She was someone who didn't care what other people thought and she made my life a little happier each day. I was blessed to share quite a few happy memories with her over the 4 years I knew her. She passed away in 2005) My senior year of high school, they put me back in regular classes in the morning and then I went to the career center in the afternoons where I had to adjust to another new batch of kids.

While my experiences don't compare to what the girls are going through now by any means, what pain I was feeling at the time felt like the worst pain imaginable. What got me through it was that same core group of friends that I had through it all. That is what will get the girls through it today. Knowing that there is safety in numbers and that there is someone who will laugh with you and not at you is what makes the bullies plots, schemes, and threats mean absolutely nothing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otoplasty
Learn more about Otoplasty, outer ear reconstructive surgery.