Meet *Maria and *Colleen

I can't give you as much background on Maria and Colleen as I can obviously with Alex. The twins came into my sisters life a year and a half ago. The girls went to different elementary schools. They've grown up with different family dynamics. Alex being the youngest but for much of her life, the only child in the household. The twins being the middle of 5 kids. The twins go back and forth between mom and dad while Alex spends much of her time at home with both parents but was often shuffled off to her big sister's place for a weekend here and there.

Until very recently, I didn't even know what the twins were going through. They came to me to show concern for what my sister was going through and it was in that conversation that I learned that the bullying didn't stop with Alex. Through a conversation on facebook, this is what Colleen posted to me one evening (content has been edited to remove names of teachers):

"Most of the kids in my math class call me names, walk up to me and yell in my ear, do inappropriate dances in front of me and bug me about dating... certain teachers don't do a thing about it. Creeps keep trying to touch my face... he was apparently trying to touch me with a piece of paper he had in his pants. One girl keeps walking up to me and yells out 'DEATH' whenever she sees me. Some boys keep touching me and rubbing themselves up against me in the hall. Only one teacher has yelled at them... some kids ram their desk into my back."

After I read this, I spoke to Maria. She has to fight the urge to take matters into her own hands. She wants to "punch them" and cause them as much physical harm as they cause Alex and Colleen.

When I spoke to Colleen about the bullying, I asked her to tell me when it all started. For her, the bullying began in 5th grade. It started with typical name calling and has progressed in less then 3 years to the insanity you just read above. I also asked Maria if she experienced any bullying. She told me that she had been called names, but that she didn't receive the torture that Alex and Colleen do. The twins are virtually identical, and these kids chose to bully one over the other. It just goes to show that bullying has absolutely nothing to do with appearance. Despite Maria not being directly bullied by these kids, in a way she too falls victim to the other kids cruelty. She grows enraged having to live each day watching Alex and Colleen being teased, tormented and abused.

The love that Maria and Colleen show for my sister astounds me. Here they are with their own troubles and they came to me because they were worried about someone other then themselves. That was when I decided that they needed a voice just as badly as my sister does. Someone to stand up for them. You hear on the news all these stories of teen suicides and violence that is a direct result of bullying. Society needs to know these kids stories BEFORE they reach a tragic and dramatic conclusion.

So now, my question to everyone is, when is enough going to be enough? How hard do these kids need to slam their desks into Colleen's back before they are disciplined? How many threats of physical violence and nasty voicemails have to be left before the kids targeting Alex will be forced to stop? How many more times is Maria going to have to hold her tongue and fight back the rage to keep her out of trouble?

Until next time, keep the kids and teens in your life safe. Talk to them about what's going on at school. Get involved with their activities. Teach them it's OK to be different and to let those around them be different too.

http://www.byparents-forparents.com/causesbullies.html