I was an only child for much of my childhood. I was just a year older then my sister is now when she came into my life. Her arrival was nothing short of dramatic.
She was 6 weeks premature and born at a petite 3lbs 10ozs. As she gained strength she quickly began to catch up in size to kids her own age, but she had health problems she battled early on. She had breathing difficulties and was hospitalized after she quit breathing 17 times in a single day and had bleed out into her brain. Her immune system was compromised due to sepsis and being anemic. Our grandfather donated blood for 2 separate blood transfusions she had to undergo. Alex had RSV, pneumonia, several upper respiratory infections, and bronchitis. The doctors treated her with liquid caffeine for her asthma.
Even through all the health scares, she remained a positive and energetic child. She loved reading and playing with the neighborhood kids. She was always so trusting of people around her. There was a dramatic difference in her outlook when she walked through the doors to attend her first day of middle school. She was overwhelmed by kids she had never met when they transitioned kids that attended 3 different elementary schools into 1 middle school. The hardest thing at first seemed to be the memorization of her schedule - when to go here; when to go there; what was her locker combination; what days did she have gym; etc. It wasn't until about the middle of sixth grade that the bullying came to light. Girls in her class began playing on her trust. Convincing her to tell them secrets and then going behind her back to make fun of her. It grew out of hand when they started to involve a boy she had a crush on.
The girls in her class convinced the boy to pretend to be her friend as a joke. He'd talk to her and then humiliate her. She'd forgive him and they'd start talking again just for him to repeat his malicious actions again. He was being cruel to her through facebook as well as in person, via text message, and over the phone. One weekend, Alex was staying with me. Phone calls had been coming into her phone. Voice messages were left. Nasty voice messages. Her phone rang off the hook while she was with me. I answered the phone and said a few words to the immature boy on the other side. My husband wasn't happy that I spoke with him, considering the age difference and how heated I got. I was after all trying to defend my sister. He hung up on me while I was talking with him. I got on the internet. Went to whitepages.com and proceeded to track down the boy's home telephone number. I called and spoke to his mother. She was surprised to even learn that he had a facebook account, let alone what he was doing with it. (I have plans to discuss cyber bullying in more detail down the road so stay tuned.)
Over the last year, most of the bullying I've been privy to has occurred through social networking and cell phone communications. Being on the sidelines, I don't get to see what goes on from day to day. I wish I could be there for her 24/7. While I can't be there for her, she has friends that can be. Maria and Colleen were godsends. The girls met on their first day of 6th grade during lunch. I associate the start of middle school with so much dread for her, but then I stop to think that the best thing that could've happened for her also happened on that day as well.
Tomorrow I'll start to introduce you to Maria and Colleen. Then in my next few posts, I'll dive deeper into the girls personal experiences. So for now, goodnight and remember these words,
Those that can, do.
Those that can't, bully.
http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_center/newborn_health_conditions/sepsis.html#
Learn more about Sepsis in premature babies.
http://www.rsvinfo.com/
Learn more about RSV
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