Social Status and Self Confidence

Does bullying occur more in areas that have larger income gaps then in areas where people are all from the same social class?

That's a discussion a girlfriend and I had while shopping today. She was stunned at how much these young girls are going through. She grew up where teasing happened once in a while, but no one was stuck on it for long. The average household income for the town she grew up in was $35,000. The average household income however for the town in which my sister is growing up is $67,000. (My sister's community has income ranging from $32,000 for a family per year to as much as $110,000 for a family per year.) One thing that my friend remembered was that everyone in her town was on the same playing field. No one had better clothes or accessories then the next kid. If you made fun of someone for not being good enough, someone else could flip it right back on you. Sure there were cliques the same way there is today, but not so much that anyone was treated with complete disrespect. Is it the difference in social structure that makes these kids more susceptible to falling on one side or the other of the bullying spectrum?

Another thing we discussed today was the confidence level in the kids who are most often bullied. Kids with higher self esteem react differently then a child with low self esteem. Take my son for example, he was picked on by a kid on the playground a few months back. My son is a very confident and outgoing kid. After the first time he was picked on, he didn't have a problem again. He let the incident roll off his back and not effect him. He didn't change anything about who he was or try to make excuses for who he is. The problem resolved itself. My sister on the other hand will try to please the people that are bullying her which drags out the problem. Most of the incidences that take place involving my sister typically snowball into another one and cycle themselves right back to the beginning of the problem.

The observation we made today was an obvious one. There are many factors that contribute to why kids bully and why other kids are bullied. There are family dynamics, social economic structures, self esteem, and personalities. With so many factors playing right into the hand of the problem, how does one pinpoint the cause and find a solution? Bottom line, we need to teach our kids self confidence and respect from an early age. We also need to have an open line of communication with our children. They need to understand that they can talk to us about anything and we have to feel comfortable to talk to them about every possible subject they may throw at us. Beyond that, the other factors are out of our control. We can't control the family dynamics of the other kids or how much money the other kids' families have in comparison to their own. But we can teach them to be grateful for what they have and to treat others no differently based on what they do or don't have.

Tonight, talk to your kids about tolerance.